It’s a common question at community and economic development meetings, usually prefaced by talk about the general decline in rural Kansas populations. And then someone asks: “Why are our young people leaving?”

The truth is the youth are doing exactly what we’ve told them to do.

For at least the last 70 years, the message — from families, schools, peers, and society at large — has been clear: the real opportunities are “out there somewhere,” and if you want to be successful, you’ll need to go somewhere else. That part of the message has been direct. The more subtle, and maybe more damaging, part of the message is the implication that if you come back to your hometown, it means you couldn’t cut it in the city.

So off they’ve gone, for generations, many never to return — and we wonder why they left.

How do we change this?

Here are three things we should start doing right now:

1. Change the message.
Let’s shift from the old idea that opportunity only exists “somewhere else” to a message that says: opportunities lie in finding solutions to the problems of others — and you can do that anywhere. Whether as an employee or as an entrepreneur and small business owner, problem-solvers are needed everywhere, especially here at home.

2️. Encourage them as they leave — but remind them they’re welcome back.
At 18 or 20 years old, most young people want to see their hometown in the rear-view mirror. That’s natural. We should cheer them on as they explore the world, learn, and chase big dreams. But we should also remind them: their hometown is part of the world too, and there are plenty of problems to solve and opportunities to grow right here.

Humboldt, Kansas has a beautiful tradition — they give each graduating senior a personalized mailbox as a symbolic invitation to return anytime. More towns should adopt that kind of gesture.

3️. Actively invite them back.
Every small town should develop a process for inviting hometown youth to return. This could include building a database of names and locations, using family connections and class reunions, and sending regular outreach — updates on what’s happening, what’s changing, and what opportunities are available.

Of course, not everyone will be interested in coming home. But even a 10% success rate would be transformational.

Why would they come back?

The best and brightest young people I see returning to this area as entrepreneurs, professionals, and community leaders are doing so for one big reason: to be close to family. That connection is powerful, and we should do everything we can to encourage them — to show that not only is home a place of belonging, but it’s also a place of opportunity.

And let’s be honest: city life isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

Big cities may sparkle with promise, but rising crime, skyrocketing living costs, and the relentless pace have made many people rethink what “success” really looks like. As Mac Davis sang back in 1980, sometimes we only realize “happiness was Lubbock, Texas, in my rear-view mirror” until we’ve been away too long, and return home.

It’s time we help our young people see that their hometown has always been — and can still be — part of their big dreams.